John 10: 7-10
Jesus said, ‘Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Bex and I used to argue a lot. Don’t get me wrong...we used to walk the dog at Abney Hall and eat sausage butties and watch Schitt’s Creek and laugh and laugh. I can’t remember a time when we met when we didn’t laugh, and that’s including the last few months when she was in lots of pain.
But we did used to argue about one thing. Like any great academic, Bex was very particular about language. For example, she totally rejected the language of “battling” with cancer. I promise you that if anyone says that Bex lost her battle with cancer, she will come back and haunt you. We agreed on that. But we argued about the phrase Real Life. You see Bex, as we know, was the Queen of all things digital. She was a pioneer of Christian engagement in digital culture. As a cautious old-timer, I learnt so much from her relentless positivity. But I always wanted to distinguish between online life – the things we do and say through social and digital media – and off-line life – the things we do and say in flesh and blood, when we’re in the same room together. And I would call our online presence digital life. And our flesh and blood presence, I would call Real Life. And that’s where we fell out. Because Bex would say “it’s all Real Life. Just in a different form. There’s no such thing as unreal life. How could there be.” But I wanted to say that there’s something unique and special about our flesh and blood life that can’t be matched online. So you can see how our friendly arguments went on over several years!
Of course, I knew perfectly well that Bex was right. If anyone knows about Real Life it is Bex. What she was trying to tell me is that although flesh and blood life is great, it’s not everything there is. There is a life that goes way beyond what we are in our bodies. I think that’s what Jesus meant when he said, in the Bible passage that Erika just read to us, “I have come so that men and women may have life; life in all its fullness.”
Look at the photos at the back of church and you will realise that Bex filled her 45 years of flesh and blood life at least twice over. This was a Real Life; this was life in all its cheese-eating, world-travelling, Pokemon-catching, wild swimming, sky-diving, researching, writing, broadcasting, blogging, teaching, loving, encouraging fullness. Like the confident sheep in Jesus’ picture, she didn’t hide in the sheepfold of the church, but walked confidently in and out of it and all around it. If I have twice the length of life on earth that Bex had, I doubt if I will cram in half the action. Jesus said “I have come so that people can have life; life in all its fullness.” Make no mistake, it was the life of Jesus that enlivened Bex. It’s not me saying that, but Bex. We had plenty of time to talk about faith and doubt and all those good things, but Jesus was at the centre of Bex’s life, and she would have wanted us all to know that. Jesus put the 'X' into Bex!
So how come this? How come we find ourselves with all that is mortal of Bex carried into church lifeless. It feels incomplete. It feels unfair. It leaves us with a confusing mix of feelings. We may feel cheated or let down. We may feel angry. We may feel particularly conscious of our own frailty.
Well, let me say this. Don’t let anyone tell you that this is all OK because it’s part of God’s greater plan. No, it’s all wrong. Cancer is an outrage. Death is an outrage. Bex’s death is like the screen on your computer suddenly going blue. It’s an error, a disaster. It’s not supposed to be this way.
But let me say this too. When your computer screen suddenly goes blue, the chances are that you have lost a load of work. This is different. Because whilst death is real and terrible, life is stronger, more real, and in a way more terrible. Nothing is going to0 be lost here. The life of God that Bex knew and experienced can’t be ended by mere cancer, mere Covid, mere death. Real Life – the life of Christ – the life in all its fullness that Bex knew and that she knows today – is unstoppable. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
In the last few months, Bex and I had many conversations about illness and death. We called it #Bexit. She was, as you can imagine, highly practical about it. For example, I can reassure you that her favourite red dress, which she is wearing today, has pockets! She wasn’t going to be caught out like that! When Bexit came it was shockingly fast, but also peaceful and without fear. Bex had won her adventure with life, and she stepped simply and courageously into a new realm of possibilities. If you want to #BeMoreBex, this is how to do it. Embrace the life in all its fullness that Jesus offers. Fill every ounce of your flesh and blood, off-line life with adventure and generosity as she did. But recognise that Real Life is not limited to mere space and time. There is a life that goes way beyond atoms, beyond digits, beyond days, beyond death itself; which is not measured in years or in gigabytes, but in love given and received.